Special life, special love

As a toddler, senior Mari Cajandig observed her older sister Anamaria speed from place to place in her small electrical toy cart. She controlled it with simple hand motions, the only type of movements she was capable of.

Her mother would only allow Anamaria to use it. Mari was jealous. She desired nothing more than a cart of her own, and didn’t understand why only her sister received this special privilege.

As Mari grew older, she realized her sister wasn’t her mom’s “favorite” with special permission to use the fascinating cart, but rather a young girl who could not do something as natural as move without the help of a machine.

On March 25, 1987 Terry Cajandig gave birth to Anamaria Cajandig, all but completely paralyzed from birth. Anamaria, who the family calls Joo Joo, suffers from cerebral palsy and is now 23.

When Mari, a DHS senior, was younger, she didn’t understand the difference there was between her family and all her peers’ families. “I honestly thought that every family had a member like Joo Joo. I just thought it was normal,” Mari said.

As a little girl she would play with Joo Joo, paint her nails, and do her hair, always with the intention of making her the prettiest girl at school. As she grew older, she realized Joo Joo never would go to school.

Because of Joo Joo, movie nights and dinner dates are not an option for their parents, and it took several years for Mari and her sisters, Ceci, and Briki, to comprehend that their parents Juan and Terry led very unique lifestyles. “We can’t do the ordinary couple activities, as we are caring constantly for Joo Joo, but the love and care that we give her keeps us close,” Terry said.

For Terry and Juan, caring for Joo Joo is a great daily responsibility. She lacks the ability to walk and speak. Three times a day, one of her parents feeds her through a feeding tube in a hole in her stomach. They also suction the saliva from her mouth every hour or so, change her diapers, and administer an asthma treatment every evening.

But according to Briki, Mari’s twin, love overpowers all of her other necessary treatments. “Many of Joo Joo’s friends passed away because they did not have the proper care, or love for that matter. Therefore they went into a depression and died, for they thought that no one loved them,” Briki said.

Doctors have told the family that Joo Joo is not expected to live past age 25, which quickly approaches. Consequently, the Cajandig family acts with caution to avoid a tragic outcome.

The three sisters regard their mom as an excellent role model and admire her compassionate personality and dedication. According to the twins’ best friend, Naomi Wainwright, Terry’s attitude has noticeably rubbed off on them.

“Both of their parents are extremely patient, loving, and kind, and by watching them care for Joo Joo, the girls have acquired great personalities, and learned to be voluntarily helpful,” Wainwright said.

Columbia University’s counselor Will Corral, who has dealt with families in similar situations, feels that having this type of challenge influences families in a positive way. “Looking in on families in difficult situations, people feel pity for them, thinking that it harms them. They don’t realize that these situations only make the rest of the family value what they have a lot more, ” Corral said.

Speaking collectively for all three girls, Briki said, “all of us truly love her for the way she is, and she inspires us to be better people every day.”

Sophomore Ceci smiles at the thought of her good memories with Joo Joo. “When my dad comes home, she smiles and tries to get his attention by vocalizing happy sounds. You can just tell that she’s happy because you get used to what kind of sounds she makes,” Ceci said.

While the family feels blessed by Joo Joo’s presence in their lives, the doctor’s blunt statement still lurks in their minds.

“She is 23 now and is looking bright and healthy. My family believes that she can prove those doctors wrong… Our goal is to keep her as happy as can be so she stays motivated to keep on striving to live!” Briki said.