I Want to Feel Like a Normal Person

I want to feel like a normal person.

I want to sit in a room 

and feel 

comfortable.

I want my thoughts to be occupied with what I’m going to watch tonight, 

not 

by how many situations that I will have to get through the next day 

without having a panic attack.

I don’t want my biggest limitation in life

to be a fear 

that is made up in my head.

I want to feel like a normal person.

I want to feel like that girl that goes up on the stage,

in front of everyone,

and speaks with unwavering

confidence.

I want to feel like that guy that walks around 

without any fear 

of being looked down on.

I want to feel like that student 

who finds a sense of focus 

and relief 

in a silent room

surrounded by their peers. 

I want to feel like those two —

the couple —

able to lay in each other’s arms,

listening to each other’s heartbeat without 

feeling 

threatened.

I want to feel like a normal person.

I want to enjoy my life.

I want to go out and make friends.

I want to accomplish my goals.

I want 

to find love

and safety 

within another 

human 

person.

God, I want to feel like a normal person. 

I don’t want to have to 

work on controlling my breathing.

I don’t want to have to 

step outside when things start to spin.

I don’t want to have to

see a therapist every other week.

I don’t want to feel so 

disappointed 

in myself because I can’t do the basic human things that others can 

because I keep making myself scared 

of a monster 

that doesn’t exist.

I really want to feel like a normal person.

I can’t keep 

crying. 

I can’t keep 

pulling away.

I can’t keep 

hiding in my room.

I can’t keep 

living with a heavy beating heart 

and shallow breaths.

I need to feel like a normal person.  

I need the comfort that comes with feeling 

like a normal 

person.