Remembering a mentor: Coach and campus supervisor Dontae Palmer passes away unexpectedly

PHOTO: Campus safety supervisor Dontae Palmer passed away unexpectedly on Jan. 3, leaving behind his fiancée Nina Nero and his children.

By Ayisi Ni,

BlueDevilHUB.com Staff–

Dontae Palmer, sitting in his golf cart in a Blue Devils sweatshirt with his arm on the steering wheel, yelling “Morning!” to greet students and staff who passed by.
That’s how math teacher Kurt McCormick and so many others remember Palmer, a Davis High staff member, who passed away unexpectedly of natural causes on Jan. 3, according to his fiancee.

As a campus safety supervisor, Palmer worked to ensure student safety and order at DHS. He was also involved in youth sports, coaching both basketball and track intermittently, as well as being a major part of Junior Blue Devil football camps.

Palmer leaves behind his children, fiancée and a community of family, friends and students.

Math teacher Kurt McCormick was a friend of Palmer’s and had many conversations with him when they happened to meet one another on campus.
“He always called me ‘Big Kurt.’ Even if across the quad, when I’d wave to him, I’d hear his big booming voice,” McCormick said.

McCormick said that Palmer’s dedication to DHS and its students was unparalleled.

“He deeply cared about all of the students on campus, whether or not he had any contact with them,” McCormick said.

Custodian Mo Malik said similar things about his connection with students.

“They were magnetized towards him, they would go to him, talk to him,” Malik said. I’m a custodian, I’m out there, he’s out there … That’s what I observed and that’s what those students lost.”

Malik also recalls Palmer’s willingness to help him when he first started to work at DHS.

“He personally told me: ‘Hey, Mo. You need any help, any assistance, don’t try to take it on yourself. Some heavy lifting or you need another hand, please, please ask me,” Malik said.

Palmer is also remembered as a champion for Black and other students of color on campus, especially young men.

Art teacher and women’s water polo coach Doug Wright met Palmer when he coached Wright’s son in football. Wright also worked alongside Palmer for several years.

“He did talk to me about it a number of times. About how he saw his role, his mission, (was) to really help Black students connect while on campus,” Wright said.
According to school reports, Black students only account for about 3% of the DHS student population and Palmer was one of the few Black staff members.
“(He was) an outstanding person,” said Ty Brown, a DHS staff member who coached youth football camp with Palmer. “(He was) also a great role model for many young men.”

Senior Julian Johnson said that Palmer was a role model for him as he entered high school.

“It was huge having him as a Black coach, especially being in Davis,” Johnson said. “(He) kept me in check and most importantly, he was a father figure for me away from home.”

Campus safety supervisor Tina Saechow, another one of Palmer’s colleagues and friends, believes that Palmer’s loss is considerable for students. She received the news of his passing in a staff meeting on the morning of Jan. 4.

“Mr. D was not just a coach, but a parent to the kids,” Saechow said. “On the field and off the field, he puts a reality to them.”

Palmer had seven children: Mekhi, Sade, Tony, Elijah, Madison, Taelonnie and Omega. He shared 2-year-old daughter Taelonnie and 7-month-old son Omega with his fiancée Nina Nero, a vice principal at DHS.

Palmer and Nero had planned to marry on April 8 of next year, the date of his late mother’s birthday. The wedding would have been just before their son’s birthday on May 15.

The couple went jewelry shopping this past year. Though Palmer meant to buy a necklace for Nero, on a spur of the moment decision, he walked to the ring aisle instead.

“And he put it on my finger, and he told me to never take it off. ‘You’re it. You’re it. So don’t you ever take this ring off.’ I’m never going to take this ring off,” Nero said.

However, Palmer and Nero already thought of each other as spouses without the paperwork.

“When he introduced me, he’d say ‘this is my wife,’ and I’d say ‘this is my husband,’” Nero said.

“And that’s my sister!” said Shanecca Palmer, Dontae’s sister.

She described Dontae as a caring man who constantly fulfilled his role as her older brother.

“He was the one I would go to when I incurred issues. He would hear me out, and then, he would just give me the truth. He would give me the truth in love,” Shanecca said. “He’s always been a teacher. He’s always been a nurturer to me.”

As Dontae passed away only three days after New Year’s, he was able to spend the holiday season with his family, celebrating Christmas and making sure that all of their children were given gifts. Though his death was a “shock,” Nero felt incredibly grateful for the time the family spent together during such a joyous holiday.

“I can’t take away anything from our holiday season, because we enjoyed each other as a family and spent time together,” Nero said. “We went to the State Capitol building. Somehow, he had never been.”

However, one difficult task she had to face after welcoming in the new year was finding a way to tell her young children about their father’s passing.
“I’ve told them that their father is not coming back, but that he loves them very much,” Nero said. “I can’t tell you how much they understand that, but they do know that his presence is missing here.”

Shanecca wants to ensure that Dontae’s children receive the same kind of attention she did from her brother.

“As an aunt, I want them to be able to come to me and talk to me, just like they would have gone to my brother, their dad,” Shanecca said.
Palmer was an avid fan of the Kansas City Chiefs football team. However, Nero is a supporter of the Oakland Raiders. In deciding which team their younger children would root for, Nero proposed a bet: if the Chiefs won a particular game against the Raiders, then Palmer would win, but if the Raiders triumph, their children would sport Raider merch.

“And I lost. So my kids are Chiefs fans. (But, Dontae) being the person he was, he said that he’d give me another opportunity when we played again. So we played them again and we really, really lost,” Nero said. “I told him that once we got married, I might, might, consider crossing over. He said ‘that’s ok, when we get our house, we can divide the den into halves. One for the Raiders and one for the Chiefs.”

“I love him. I love his Kansas City Chiefs. I know they’ve got a game tomorrow, and I’ll be watching in his honor and I’m going to make sure my kids watch,” Nero said on Jan. 7.

Brown expressed his condolences to Nero. He said that his religion and faith in God is helping him enormously through his grief.
“I’m gonna keep you wrapped in prayer,” he told Nero.

Luke Wright, son of Doug Wright, met Palmer when he coached at a football camp years ago. Since then, Palmer had become a person to look up to for Luke in the field of football as well as life.

“(His passing) was kind of devastating to me. God has plans for many of us, so I guess that was one of the plans. I’m not really dwelling on it … You have to keep moving forward,” Luke said.

Saechow decided to pen a letter to Palmer while working through her grief.

“I feel like when I’m writing a letter I’m talking to him,” Saechow said. “(He was) a good listener.”
McCormick had a different way to mourn Palmer’s loss.

“I’ve raised a toast in his honor,” said McCormick, holding tears in his eyes. “Like ‘Here’s to you, Dontae, I’m really glad I got to know you, the bit that I did.”

For Nero and Shanecca, these remembrances mean immensely in honoring Dontae’s memory.

“I just got a text from a student who graduated and said that it was because of him,” said Nero, her voice breaking. “Hearing from people like that, that’s something I can share with my kids, that’s what is going to help us get through it.”